Thursday, November 18, 2010

Chicks Dig Scars

Working with college students usually keeps me abreast as to what is now considered cool, that my daily dose of E! News. Though I do a pretty good job of keeping up to date on fashion, music, film, etcetera, I rely on them to give me the inside track on being hip. For this week, the word on the street was HP.

No offense to my students, but I don't understand how wizards are cool. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the artistry 0f a British pre-teen version of Friends that involves wands, but I'm not sure it constitutes patronizing a midnight showing. Under the recommendation of a few friends, I once cracked open a copy of the supposed monolithic children's book and three chapters in gave up the ghost. Boring. Everyone who hears the tale of my Harry Potter debacle tells me that I must push through the first few books in the series in order to get to the goods, but I have more important things to read, like this month's issue of Cosmo.

I get it, they (my students) grew up with our beloved HP, but what concerns me is how they know more about the Black family lineage than they do about pronouns and antecedents. Okay, no one gives a rip about the parts of speech, but my point still remains. Harry Potter and his epic tale of epicness/wonder-some wizardry/broomstick bodaciousness is not real. Owls haven't served as carriers for years as they were replaced by pigeons long ago, and according to Back to the Future, cars won't fly until 2015. The Jig is up J.K.R.(insert additional and superfluous initials here) Rowling, Hogwarts is merely a figment of your little English imagination.

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, I mean, I truly believe that Zak Morris and I will meet and fall madly in love one day, but at least he drives a jeep and has a band. Harry Potter is the chosen one and only has two friends in his entire school. Lame. He has been chasing the same villain for 6 movies and still hasn't come close to catching him. Not impressed. HP's confidant and BFF is a sexually frustrated 186-year old man. Creepy. So, to all of you who love you some sorcerer 's stone, knock yourself out, but as for me I'm sticking with season three of Saved by the Bell.

I also suggest checking out the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u981JhkK46o. Let's just say it includes the quote, "And it was another tequila sunrise for our hero, HP."



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