The 8:00 Showing

Tonight my roommate and I went to go see The Social Network, which I am going to take this opportunity to give it my enthusiastic recommendation for it's incredibly subtle yet clever writing and overall appeal. There were several moments in the film that harkened to my work as a Student Affairs professional that made me proud of my field (e.g. the scene with the college president is very similar to the judicial hearings that I have with students), and therefore must offer forth my approval. Also, I think it is only appropriate to commend my students who made the parody of the film entitled The Video Website.

Anywho, though this movie has topped the box office for two weeks in a row, the theater was quasi empty and thus prompted me to inform Caitlin of Lessly's Law: that even in a desolate theater, someone will always sit in front of you thus forcing you to put feet down off of the back of the seat. Is it not a universal principle that the person who was there first has all rights and privileges to both their seat and the seat immediately in front of them? I don't understand this.

Granted, as an avid film buff and a occasional movie-goer (let's face it, most of the flicks made today are barely even worth my Netflix subscription), I have my own little quarks of when I go and see a film, but they all have good reasons. For example: I don't like sitting on the left-side of the theater. Call me superstitious, but every time I sit on the left, something bad/strange happens including but not limited to the movie sound going out, the film melting and a tornado blowing through the theater. Secondly, I am very picky about the seat backs in a theater. Most seats are not built with someone like me in mind and if the headrest is too high, it kills my neck (ah, reminds me of college). As far as I'm concerned, stadium seating was the greatest invention known to man since caller ID. Third, I can't sneak food in, it's unethical. Yes, one could make the argument that it is unethical to sell a bag of popcorn for 8 dollars a pop, but that's the beauty of capitalism, baby. I once sat next to a couple who I swore brought a three course meal in with them. That's either genius, or really cheap, I have yet to decide. Forth and finally, I love the previews. I rate them with a thumbs up or thumbs down like Caesar in the days of yore. If we're running late and you say to me, "It's okay, we'll only miss the previews," I might reconsider my friendship with you. And finally, finally, I am always that one person laughing in the theater when no one else is, tonight was no exception.

But back to my main point, there should be a code of conduct for movie theaters, just like in certain restaurants that make me wear jackets. People who text, check their email or actually answer their phone during a movie should be thrown out of the theater like Uncle Phil does to Jazz. While we're on the subject, take your Bluetooth headset off. The only person who is going to call you is 2005 and it's to tell you you're not cool anymore. And, if you are going to sneak in food, at least smuggle in some booze too for you and enough to share. Large groups of friends should sit in either the front or the back of the theater so that they can be noisy but minimally distracting. If you are a loud whisperer, forewarn the people around you. Chair kickers need not apply.

That being said, I am a fan of the moveable armrest. . .